Tomorrow's Tea Parties

Listen,

I know many of us have become enamoured with the thought of rallying around the Liberty Tree and protesting the extremely unfair, and immoral way all of us Americans are being treated by our very own government.

If you intend to travel to a tea party tomorrow in order to voice your indignation, I have some suggestions for you:

1) If you have tattoos, cover up. Wear long sleeves.

2) Do not drive directly to the event. Park some distance away and walk or take a bus or cab the remaining distance.

3) Wear sun glasses. The larger the better. The more reflective the better.

4) There's a reason you often see "leftists" and "anarchists" covering their entire faces when they participate in protests. If you're up to it, cover your entire face.

5) Don't carry purses or large bags unless you absolutely have to. That includes backpacks.

6) Wear comfortable clothing, including shoes. Layer your clothing. Do not wear anything that you are not willing to have damaged or potentially lose.

7) Wear a cap or hat, even if it isn't something you commonly wear.

8) Carry only ONE form of ID. If possible, one that lists a PO box as an address, or better yet, no address.

9) Leave your credit cards and excess cash at home or locked securely in the trunk of your vehicle.

10) Carry only the key to your vehicle. Do not carry your house key. If possible use surgical tape to secure the key to your leg inside of your sock.

I think we all realize it is just a matter of time before Barack "Adolf" Obama plays the part of Mrs. O'Leary's Cow and starts the conflagration that will consume this nation. These "tea parties" may prove to be just the avenue the "agents provocateurs" are seeking to enable further restrictions on our affirmed rights. There has been some efforts at unmasking some of these "tea party" sites. It would appear that quite a few were bought and paid for by the "right" side of the political spectrum last year before the groundswell of popular disatisfaction began.

To put it bluntly, it would appear that many people are being manipulated into participating in controlled demonstrations. The type to let the pressure out before the explosion happens, or if things don't go the way they're supposed to, a few provocateurs to throw a few stones and here come the riot police right on cue.

Now for the points on the list. At demonstrations it is typical for the law and order types to take photos of people participating. The loudest, the noisiest, and the ones with the largest banners get the most attention.

Hence, cover your tattoos. No need to make it easy for them to ID you after the event if things go south.

Wearing a cap or a hat, and layers of clothing that you do not mind having damaged or losing - Tossing your cap or hat if things go bad will alter your appearance in a crowd immediately. Layers of clothing allows you to change your appearance almost immediately just by shedding a layer. For example, you're wearing a black T-shirt, underneath it's a white T-shirt. Toss the black T-shirt and voila!

Multiple layers of clothing will also allow you to avoid going running down the street exposed if an altercation takes place and your first layer is torn away. Very important for the ladies.

Large sunglasses will alter the appearance of your face and offer some protection for your eyes if they are impact resistant plastic. Rubber bullets and paintball guns employed by the police are no laughing matter.

Skip the bags. Leave them at home. They will allow an attacker to more easily subdue you, unless you are willing to abandon it and its contents. If you must carry a bag with water and other items, use a plastic grocery store type bag.

Comfortable shoes. You will be walking and standing. Hopefully you won't be running, but just in case, it's better to be wearing Adidas than Manolo Blahniks, right ladies?

One form of ID. You need to be able to prove who you are, but you don't want to make it easy for anyone to get to where you live. Remember, don't talk to the police.

Key to your vehicle. It really is all that you need. Keeping it taped to your leg inside your sock insures that it won't get lost in a scuffle and may escape detection if you are detained. This is important for tips further down in the article.

Skip the credit cards and large amounts of cash. People will be there hawking stuff, and asking for donations. You're there because you're pissed. You're not there to make other people rich. If you don't have the cash, you can't spend it, and more importantly it can't be taken from you.

Walk to the event or take a cab because they will be monitoring vehicle traffic. They'll be taking down license plates, and you don't want to get stuck there if things go bad and they shut down the streets.

Cover your entire face if you're up to it. No need to make it easy for them to ID you.

Extras to be aware of while in a crowd:

Watch for people walking the periphery of the crowd. Sometimes people just don't look right. Look at their feet. Check out their shoes. Many times cops don't change out of their service boots. If you see a bunch of guys hanging around or encircling the crowd, and they're all wearing the same kind of shoes, you may want to start migrating away. Protestors who have engaged in demonstrations against the WTO (especially in Seattle) reported that police started the violence and it was these guys wearing street clothes, but what gave them away were the shoes....

Watch for people with shirts with their tails hanging out. Long shirts can conceal some nasty surprises.....

Watch for people with lanyards around their necks, but whatever is attached is tucked inside their shirts....

Watch for people who are dressed unsuitably for the weather....

Watch for "couples" where the woman has short hair or it is tied back severely....like a cop... the guy....maybe has his shirt tail hanging out.... and the shoes.....

Guys, if you're like me, a freaky long haired California Hippie type, tie up your hair and tuck it inside a cap or inside your shirt. Long hair is a cop's wet dream. I'm seriously getting ready to go back to a crew cut. Girls, this goes for you too...

Now, remember what I told you about your car key? Let us assume you've been detained with several hundred others. If you're like me, and used to do alot of bar crawling when you were young and stupid, you probably learned this trick.

Wear a split leather belt. Cut the seam at the top of the belt (IN THE BACK) and drop a handcuff key inside. If you don't have a handcuff key, a large paper clip or bobby pin will do. Here's a neat video:



How To Pick Handcuffs (S&W M100 Police Issue)

You can also slip a razor blade with a piece of cardboard over the edge inside to deal with the nylon zip type cuffs. If you don't have a split leather belt, use a piece of duct tape to tape the items to the inside of your belt.

You need to effect your escape by moving to the rear of the detained crowd without attracting attention. Free yourself, your friends and anyone else if you're feeling generous. If you're able to, just walk away. If there are alot of cops start screaming about someone having a gun, when the panic starts, just run like hell.

Now you have your car key, and you'll still be able to get home. Don't forget to change your clothes if you haven't removed a layer yet.