Saturday, April 18, 2009

A Pistol For Everyone

If you've been a guest of the state or the federal government, and have been discharged with a big fat "F" on your permanent record, chances are you won't be able to walk into a gun show or gun store and walk out with any kind of pistol. Unless you're real good at the five finger discount. I do not recommend that anyone ever be so stupid as to try and steal a gun at a gun show. You are taking your life in your hands.

On to happier thoughts.

Did you know you, Mr. "I Have An F On My Permanent Record", can still buy, and carry a pistol (in many jurisdictions) quite legally? Did you know that there's no paperwork involved? No FFL? No waiting period.....hmmmmm?

There are a few visitors from foreign lands that pass through here. In many instances, firearms ownership is restricted or prohibited in their lands. You folks may want to check into this for your area.

All you have to do is go down to the local marina or go to a boat shop. Sometimes even a K-Mart or Walmart if it's near a major body of water. I've even seen these pistols being sold in gas stations and bait shops.

Okay, now you're totally confused. Boat. Marina. Pistol. Felon owning and carrying a gun legally.

Actually any of us can carry it. Even concealed. You can carry it in any of the so-called "gun free zones". Know why? Because this pistol isn't classified as a "firearm".

Ah-ha! Some of you have caught on!

That's right, its called a "Very Pistol" or more commonly, a flare gun. The ones today are an awful safety orange color, and are made of plastic. BUT you too can own a real German made steel flare pistol. The catch is that it is 26.5 MM, awwwwww.....but can get an adapter to allow you to fire 12 gauge shells. YAAAAAAAyyyyyyy!

Now, if you do fire 12 gauge shotgun shells from it, it'll be awful hard on your wrists. 12 gauge flares will be much easier to deal with.

Flares as an offensive weapon? You one of those into a vehicle loaded with thugs and sit back and watch the fun. Can you imagine taking a round of burning magnesium, phosphorous, and assorted chemicals to the gut? It'll be like looking at one of those old "Roadrunner" cartoons where there's a hole completely through ol' Wiley Coyote.

Talk about "heart burn"!

It could come in handy too if you need to set a building on fire, or if you're fleeing a larger group of armed thugs bent on doing terrible things to your person, it just may be advantageous to set a wild fire to deter them. Just make sure the wind is blowing in the right direction (towards them).

Feel free to allow your imagination to wander on all the glorious possibilities.

Thanks Shadow, for helping me think outside the box.


HermitJim said...

You know, I hadn't considered this possibility until you mentioned it!

It does "fire" the imagination, don't it? (sorry!)

Thanks for the idea!

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Certainly got my undivided attention...

Thanks Catman (via Shadow)

Catman said...


I love good puns. I remember your post on how you walk on down the the bad guys have to wonder if the old guy is gonna light 'em up. Ah, the smell of BBQ in the morning...

Cygnus, somehow I knew you'd appreciate it. ;-)

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

i bet you did, buddy; i bet you did!!

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

[Re: your quip to Hermit]:
Reminds me of a joke I'm sure we've all heard, but too good not to revisit...:

'What did Jeffrey Dahmer inquire of the ATF after the Koresh incident?

"You gonna eat that?" '

Bullseye said...

SWEET !! I never knew you could get a insert for a flare gun man. A 12 ga. pistol...too cool. I'll be looking into this for sure. Thanks for the info buddy.

Tracy said...

You can buy it, yes. But don't think for a minute that the cops won't take you to jail if they catch you carrying it. Or even a stout stick, if they decide you're carrying it as a weapon. If you think otherwise, you don't have much experience with cops.
A better idea as far as something easy to get through mail-order or whatever, is a cap and ball revolver. Give me a repro 1858 Remington Army .44 sixgun over a flare pistol, any day.

Catman said...

Hey Tracy,

Thanks for your thoughts. The company I work for says that I can't carry firearms in my company owned vehicle.

The flaregun is okay. If the cowboy guns work for you, more power to you!