Sunday, June 21, 2009

Happy Father's Day

I'm grateful to my father.

There are not words for me to convey my admiration for him, so I won't even try. I put up a series of father related songs on the jukebox. There's no way that will ever be enough.

There are so many things that he did in his life that I never learned about until after his passing. My dad was never one to tell tales, or to make himself into more than he was. I think in his heart he was a farmboy from Pennsylvania until the day he died.

I think the differences in our ages were a constant source of friction as I grew. My dad was born in 1921, and he became a father for the first time, with me, at the age of 42.

The years have shown me much. I watched six of my peers (kids I grew up with) die before they were twenty five. All of them died over stupid things. One killed himself because he was cut from a pro-ball team. I've watched girls I've known wind up in psych wards because they couldn't handle life.

I couldn't tell you how many of my former schoolmates are, or have been, in prison.

One of them killed a number of people in a drug deal gone bad. His dad was a cop. He's sitting on San Quentin's death row.

My dad wouldn't allow me to do many of the things my peers were doing. One time after a particularly noisome confrontation, he came into my room. He just looked at me and said that he understood that it seemed unfair that I wasn't being allowed to do as everyone else did. I think I was about 15 at the time.

"You won't understand until you're about thirty."

He had years of experience that the parents of my peers lacked.

You know he was right? The younger parents were just starting to wake up to what it meant to be an adult, and that you can't be your kid's friends. You have to be a parent. The pop psychology of the 70's really messed people up.

My dad's been gone from this Earth for twenty four years now. I wish I could tell him how right he was. And how right he is every time I hear his voice in my head.

Thanks, Dad.

Happy Father's Day.


Anonymous said...

As a parent, saying no to our children is never easy, however many times it is the right answer to give. I. like you, am eternally grateful to mine for doing so, and I am sure my children will be glad too when they are much older :)

HermitJim said...

I still talk to my dad a lot...and he has been gone for a long time...I think he still hears me and answers in his own way!

God Bless 'em!

idahobob said...

A Fathers Day Lament

Today is Fathers Day, and it is the first time that I have not been able to talk to my father on this day. You see, he passed last July.

I was out of town for a month, working on a job in another state, and my wife called me one morning, on my boss's cell phone, to give me the news. It was not un-expected, 'cause he had recently had quadruple bypass surgery, and had developed pneumonia. He was a very sick man for next four months.

When we found out that he had developed pneumonia, we made the decision to travel to where he was hospitalized, (in that horrible Socialist State of Kalifornication) and spent two weeks with him. No hesitation or argument with each other, we packed and went.

Ya have to understand, my father was my hero. He was the most important man in my life. I loved him, deeply. And I told him so, often.

So today, especially, I miss him. there is a great big empty hole in my heart.

On this day, Fathers Day, hug your fathers hard, kiss 'em, tell 'em that you love 'em, and that they are the most important man in your life.

Make 'em your hero.


Catman said...

Molly and Hermit Jim,

Thanks for coming by.


I understand what you're going through, and I'm sorry to hear of your father's passing. My dad is one of my heroes too.