News Of The Stupid

Armed With A Toy Gun, 11 Year Old Kid Attempts Scooter Jacking

The above video had me rolling on the floor. The Cincinnati Enquirer has the print story here.

Do you really believe all the crap the Obama camp followers have been spewing about how the economy and the housing market are improving? If you do, you may want to rethink the line you've been fed after you read this: Buy A House, Get A Free Bentley Convertible.

On top of that, Arizona plans on selling the state capitol in order to balance the budget.



The above is from Womples. If you really need a laugh, head on over and view the results of making everything "fool-proof". Yes, the fools keep multiplying, and here's the proof.

Pimp Paid Teen Prostitute With Chicken Nuggets.

I have nothing to say to that, except it shows you the quality of the educational system. My Lord, how stupid do you have to be? Chicken Nuggets?

Naked Cowboy Announces Bid To Become New York Mayor

Easy there Cowboy! With some of the stories that have circulated about previous NYC Mayors, there's probably been enough opportunities for someone with your qualifications to get through the door without having to actually hold office. You might have had to hold something else though. Maybe the "staff" of office?

Waiter! There's A Condom In My Soup!

Viva La France!

Men Plan To Cross English Channel In A Boat Made Of Sheep Crap

Waste not, want not.

Girl Falls Into Manhole While Texting.

And they say driving and texting don't mix.

Airbed Blows Up Apartment

Thank God he didn't try the same stunt with an inflatable doll!

Perfume Hospitalizes 34 People.

And you thought the old lady at the theater was bad.

Thanks To All Of You

First, I want to say thanks to all of you who have wished me well over my recent bout with whatever illness I had, and a thanks to everyone who kept visiting even though not much of anything was being posted.

Several people wanted me to compare my symptoms to the so-called "Swine Flu". I did that, and to be quite frank, it is a wee bit difficult to tell exactly whether or not I had it.

Why?

The published "Swine Flu" symptoms are the same symptoms for the usual run of the mill flu. Disappointing, I know.

Several people around me are convinced that I had the "Swine Flu". Without certain tests there's no way to know, and I'm not letting anyone stick me with a needle. I'd probably wind up with some tweaker phlebotomist who'd infect me with something, like these poor people.

The CDC has a Q&A on the H1N1 flu here. I had everything except the vomiting.

Doctor Joe Bresee has a podcast outlining the symptoms and treatments. At that link you can also search for many other podcasts on other health related issues.

How do I think I caught it? I have no idea. I'm in so many places and around so many people and I live in an area where there have been a number of highly publicized cases of "Swine Flu".

Why didn't I go to the doctor?

Two reasons:

1) If I did have it, I'd probably have wound up stuck in a hospital somewhere surrounded by a bunch of people basically guessing at what they should do. I'm not real fond of being poked and prodded by people making educated guesses while soaking me and my insurance company for $7.00 for a single Tylenol.

Think about it. Would you turn your Hybris Mechanica Grande Sonnerie from Jaeger-LeCoultre over to the guy at the Sears Watch Repair kiosk?

I thought not.

In case you're wondering, the presentation case for this watch is a SAFE! Well, I would expect no less for $2.5 million! You really should go see that watch, it is beautiful, a real work of art, go back and click on the link.

You know you want to.

2) People die in hospitals. I've done pretty well taking care of myself except in the worst emergencies. So, I'll stay away from hospitals unless I'm dying. In case you're interested in the death rates at the hospitals in your area, visit HospitalCompare. It might be good to tip the house odds in your favor if you ever find yourself in the back of a meat wagon. Just remember to slap the nice paramedic and tell him where you want to go.

Since I'll already be dying when I go to the hospital, I'll be less likely to be really pissed off if they manage to kill me. Maybe if a haul my Colt Commander with me, I'll have a better survival rate, after all doctors kill more people than firearms.

Nothing motivates people to do a good job like looking down the maw of a large caliber handgun.

Hey if I don't make it, it will probably be nice to have someone to talk to while waiting for Saint Peter at the Gate. Chances are my companion might not be in a real talkative mood though considering his trip was unplanned and he's going to miss his tee time.

Come to think of it, he'll probably be really cross since he didn't have a chance to send me a bill.

More Tazer Terrorism

Audio Of Boise Police threatening to sodomize a man with a Tazer.

Read the story here at the IdahoStatesman.com.

I just don't know about "law enforcement" anymore. To be quite frank, I'm more fearful of a cop than any thug I run across.

It's one thing to battle some crack head gang member who might be able to round up ten of his buddies to do a drive by.

Mind of Mencia
Drive-By Shooting School
www.comedycentral.com
Race Jokes Political Humor Play Carlos Mencia Games

It is entirely another thing to go up against some power crazed, 'roid enhanced gym monkey wearing a badge who can literally call down an army on some poor bastard with a broken tail light.



I don't know if any cops read this or not, but for Pete's Sake, do you realize how many people you are alienating with your behavior?

A Gift From The Native Americans

Out here in Coastal California, Poison Oak creeps across hillsides and down into valleys below. Sometimes it forms a nearly impenetrable mass.



Poison Oak
Poison Oak isn't just bad news if the oils come in contact with your skin. Wildfires can inject the oils of the Poison Oak plant into the plumes of smoke that surround coastal wildfires. Breathing in the oils can cause severe respiratory distress.

In other parts of the country, Poison Ivy and Poison Sumac create just as much havoc among the unwary who stumble through their territories.



Poison Ivy



Poison Sumac
These three plants create an allergic dermatitis in most people who come in contact with them. This is due to an oil called Urushiol.



Many different remedies have been offered over the years. Calamine lotion, antihistamines, and others have shown effectiveness of various degrees.

The Native Americans have used Jewelweed as a topical solution to the irritation caused by the oils.

Jewelweed is also known as Impatiens and Touch-Me-Nots.



Jewelweed
Jewelweed, Impatiens, and Touch-Me-Nots can be found growing wild in many areas of the country. If you are not able to find any wild, seeds, and live plants can be found in many garden centers as they are often a favored ground cover among gardeners.

The Jewelweed, flowers, stems and leaves, were gathered and crushed and placed over the affected area. The compound was bound in place with a clean cloth.

Stories from those who have used this method of relief have often related that the itching, blisters, bumps and weeping sores were relieved overnight. Some have said that several applications were necessary.

I've suffered from Poison Oak more than once. If I ever come in contact with the plant again I plan on trying this method first. I'll let you all know what my first hand experience is.

2nd Saturday Night Post: More Weirdness

If you blog, try this:

Type in your URL with a slight change. Use logspot.com instead of blogspot.com.

For example: www.catmanslitterbox.LOGspot.com.

Someone has been very busy because when I've tried various blog addresses they all seem to refer to the same page.

Interesting, no?

More Fringe Than A Survivalist

Okay,

Things are a bit weird in the world right now.

I believe in being prepared for something, anything, going wrong in our fragile society. Having food, water, and other supplies on hand just makes plain sense, especially in light of the strange weather that has hit parts of the country.

Being in California, well, wildfires and earthquakes are always a concern.

It's just being practical.

And for being "practical" we're often labeled "nuts" or worse depending on whom you talk to.

But did you know there are others, even more out there on the fringe?

Do you advocate the downfall, the complete collapse of our system?

If you do, you're not alone.

You're a "collapsitarian"

Check out:

Apocalypse Ciao: Let The End Times Roll

It's nice to be proven that one isn't crazy when people more "crazy" start appearing out of the woodwork.

Obama Man

Still on the mend, but in the meantime laughter seems to work wonders.

Check it out

Back From Southern California

Jesus.

I don't take the Man's name lightly but I've never been through anything like I've been through over the last week.

I arrived in Southern California to attend a training class on an access control platform. I've worked on various card access systems before, but nothing like this one.

Everything you need to know about this thing, all the modules, software, programming, nomenclature, jargon, lab time was crammed into one freaking week. Immediately followed by a pass / no-pass exam for certification. Yes, the class ran up until noon on Friday, and it was immediately followed by the exam.

If you do not have certification you can't work on this stuff. Well, you can, but it's like buying a new Bugatti Veyron and taking it apart in your garage. Then calling Bugatti and expecting their factory tech support to walk you through putting it back together. The guys here ask for your cert number as soon as you call, if you don't have one, adios Paco.

This stuff is in use by the Feds and some serious international businesses. If you screw up, you can really cause a lot of headaches for people.

Now imagine being sick through the whole damn thing. I'm not talking about having the sniffles. In retrospect, I was probably stupid not to have gone to the ER while I was down there. (yes, I was that sick. The instructor confided after the test that he was surprised I did as well as I did on the exam) I'm probably stupid for not going to see a doctor now, but what the hell for? I'm damn near over the thing.

Anyway, I'm still healing and I won't be posting much for probably the next week. All I want to do is sleep.

If your curious about what I was trained on: C.Cure 800/8000 While you're there check out the iStarEX controller. Supports FIPS 140.2 "dark mode" right out of the box. If you're wondering what that means, it means you can't see any network traffic from these controllers. They're invisible to packet sniffers.

2012: Movie

Here's a trailer for a movie I have been anticipating.

Happy Independence Day

I hope you all have a safe, and fun filled day celebrating the birth of our nation.

I've been under the weather lately, so that's why there hasn't been much posted lately.

This next week I'll be down in Hawthorne, California. I'll probably have time in the evening to get back to posting. Maybe even finish up the new look I have in mind. I've spent the last few days getting an old laptop up to speed so I can take it with me, since the company I work for frowns on us using company laptops for personal use.

Happy Birthday, America!

An E-Mail: Why This Country Is In Trouble

I received this in my e-mail.

I do not know the source other than the person who sent it to me, and a list of names as it appears to have been forwarded numerous times. I performed a perfunctory search on Snopes, but did not see anything like it.

If you work with the public, or have worked with the public, this may sound familiar. I have to be frank here and reveal that I have come across people that astonish me with the fact that they are actually able to remember to breathe. Some people are so stupid, I'm amazed they actually figured out which way to swim in the birth canal.


Why our country is in trouble

A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' our country is in trouble!

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then she interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts .''

Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, '' Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa ''

Her response -- click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried t o explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''

I said, ''No.''

She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'

She replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''

After putting her on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10. A lady Senator called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.

She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't...I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''

I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''

12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the lady.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."

''The lady retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''

The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!

NAACP Calls For Martial Law

NAACP calls for institution of Martial Law.

I don't know about you, but my patience and "tolerance" for stupid people is getting pretty thin.

The NAACP calling for Martial Law is an admission of abject failure on their part. If these "civic leaders" can't control their own populace, and instill in their "young men" a sense of right and wrong, I think they should be held criminally liable for the damages their "young men" have caused.

Why the hell should the rest of us have our lives disrupted by having what little remains of our civil rights stripped from us because of a few thugs?

"The Guard is for floods and natural disasters. I don't know any more of a natural disaster than of our young people being killed," he said at a general membership meeting of about 25 people at Capitol Presbyterian Church, 14th and Cumberland streets." -NAACP Chapter President Stanley Lawson

Stanley, let me clue you in here, buddy.

The simple fact that only 25 people bothered to show any interest in your pathetic bleating is about to provide punctuation to the following.

This isn't a natural disaster. It is a man made disaster. One that people like you have helped create by blaming "poor choices", failing to instill discipline, and failing to hold people responsible for their actions. Ad hominem cries of "racism" and a generally lazy intellectual attitude have assisted you in creating the bed you now sleep in.

I, for one, hope you enjoy it. I know many members of the minority community, and so-called "people of color", and they are quite law abiding, successful, and productive people. They also have a general attitude that they are part of American Society as a whole, and not members of some persecuted group.

The America you live in Stanley, is perpetuated by you, and your attitudes.

"We have the civil rights not to be shot." - Attorney Stanley Mitchell

Mr. Mitchell, sometimes I need a good laugh. Thanks for providing me the opportunity with that priceless quote.