Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Thanks To All Of You

First, I want to say thanks to all of you who have wished me well over my recent bout with whatever illness I had, and a thanks to everyone who kept visiting even though not much of anything was being posted.

Several people wanted me to compare my symptoms to the so-called "Swine Flu". I did that, and to be quite frank, it is a wee bit difficult to tell exactly whether or not I had it.

Why?

The published "Swine Flu" symptoms are the same symptoms for the usual run of the mill flu. Disappointing, I know.

Several people around me are convinced that I had the "Swine Flu". Without certain tests there's no way to know, and I'm not letting anyone stick me with a needle. I'd probably wind up with some tweaker phlebotomist who'd infect me with something, like these poor people.

The CDC has a Q&A on the H1N1 flu here. I had everything except the vomiting.

Doctor Joe Bresee has a podcast outlining the symptoms and treatments. At that link you can also search for many other podcasts on other health related issues.

How do I think I caught it? I have no idea. I'm in so many places and around so many people and I live in an area where there have been a number of highly publicized cases of "Swine Flu".

Why didn't I go to the doctor?

Two reasons:

1) If I did have it, I'd probably have wound up stuck in a hospital somewhere surrounded by a bunch of people basically guessing at what they should do. I'm not real fond of being poked and prodded by people making educated guesses while soaking me and my insurance company for $7.00 for a single Tylenol.

Think about it. Would you turn your Hybris Mechanica Grande Sonnerie from Jaeger-LeCoultre over to the guy at the Sears Watch Repair kiosk?

I thought not.

In case you're wondering, the presentation case for this watch is a SAFE! Well, I would expect no less for $2.5 million! You really should go see that watch, it is beautiful, a real work of art, go back and click on the link.

You know you want to.

2) People die in hospitals. I've done pretty well taking care of myself except in the worst emergencies. So, I'll stay away from hospitals unless I'm dying. In case you're interested in the death rates at the hospitals in your area, visit HospitalCompare. It might be good to tip the house odds in your favor if you ever find yourself in the back of a meat wagon. Just remember to slap the nice paramedic and tell him where you want to go.

Since I'll already be dying when I go to the hospital, I'll be less likely to be really pissed off if they manage to kill me. Maybe if a haul my Colt Commander with me, I'll have a better survival rate, after all doctors kill more people than firearms.

Nothing motivates people to do a good job like looking down the maw of a large caliber handgun.

Hey if I don't make it, it will probably be nice to have someone to talk to while waiting for Saint Peter at the Gate. Chances are my companion might not be in a real talkative mood though considering his trip was unplanned and he's going to miss his tee time.

Come to think of it, he'll probably be really cross since he didn't have a chance to send me a bill.

5 comments:

SciFiChick said...

Ok I LOVED this post! Your sarcastic take on things makes me giggle! So does the "word verification" this time around.... lublingl .....hehe

HermitJim said...

I think Willie Nelson said it best with the line "There's more old drunks than there are old doctors..."

Glad you made it through whatever it was...we been missin' ya, guy!

Did it MY way said...

Glad to see you back.

I'm with you doctors kill people, and I'll already be dead when they pick me up.

Have not been to a doctor in 15 years-not going to start now.

Hell if I die tomorrow it's been a good run.

Ken said...

...+1 Catman...last time i went to the family Doc,she screamed at me and said i should be in a hospital,i said thats why i had her,the hospital aint gettin' me unless i'm dying(couple yrs back,turned out to be food poisoning...lol)...still,if i aint all broken and leakin' everywhere,those guys can keep those boogerhooks to themselves...

shiloh1862 said...

Awesome post Catman! Yup, no hospital for me unless I can see the Grim Reaper coming.

Pickdog
III